14 Feb

Hit Me with Your Best Shot

Oh, my cheesy love.

Made from the finest sharp cheddar, just for you!

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’d like to commemorate one of the finest traditions of our culture: the cheesy pickup line! Here are some of my favorites:

Your daddy must’ve been a baker ‘cuz you’ve got a nice set of buns!

Do you drink milk? Because damn, girl, it does your body good!

If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was New Year’s, could I meet you between the holidays?

And the most cringe-tastic one I’ve ever gotten:

How’d you like your eggs… fertilized???

Now it’s your turn. Leave your best pickup lines in the comments. If your entry wins my heart, I’ll carve a name of your choice into this sentimental slab of cheddar and post it for everyone to see.

—  UPDATE —

You all had some great lines and some truly awful ones. I had to call my husband over to help me judge, and we have a winner.  For his potent combination of references, I have carved the name Shervell into my heart of cheddar.

The original carving wasn’t terribly clear, so I stained the cheese to get your name to show up. I’ve included both versions so you can pick your favorite.

Clean Heart of Cheese

Stained Heart of Cheese

Congratulations, Shervell Jones! And happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

17 thoughts on “Hit Me with Your Best Shot

  1. Lol. I’ve heard a few. Are your legs tired? No. Because you’be been running through my mind all night. Girl did you know you have an onion butt? No. Yeah it just makes me want to cry. I’m a 6, but you’re a 9. Want to 69? Do you believe in love at first sight? No. Should I walk by again? Please don’t.

  2. I got this one yesterday, around 9am, walking through my neighborhood. To be fair, I *was* wearing a t-shirt with a superman logo, but a guy actually said to me

    “Hey, are you looking for a super man? Because, baby, you could be my supergirl any day of the week!”

  3. I suppose a more creative person could make the strawberries/chocolate/whipped cream. Which might get my attention if he added Grand Marnier and champagne.

  4. I proudly accept this heart of cheddar. I know my name isn’t the easiest to carve so thank for the effort. To quote Chester Cheetah “It ain’t easy being cheesy.” 🙂

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