In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’d like to commemorate one of the finest traditions of our culture: the cheesy pickup line! Here are some of my favorites:
Your daddy must’ve been a baker ‘cuz you’ve got a nice set of buns!
Do you drink milk? Because damn, girl, it does your body good!
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was New Year’s, could I meet you between the holidays?
And the most cringe-tastic one I’ve ever gotten:
How’d you like your eggs… fertilized???
Now it’s your turn. Leave your best pickup lines in the comments. If your entry wins my heart, I’ll carve a name of your choice into this sentimental slab of cheddar and post it for everyone to see.
— UPDATE —
You all had some great lines and some truly awful ones. I had to call my husband over to help me judge, and we have a winner. For his potent combination of references, I have carved the name Shervell into my heart of cheddar.
The original carving wasn’t terribly clear, so I stained the cheese to get your name to show up. I’ve included both versions so you can pick your favorite.
Congratulations, Shervell Jones! And happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!