02 Apr

Vampire Pigs and Looming Insanity

On Monday, I got together with a group of fabulous writers on Twitter to create a really bad story–on purpose. It involved zombie aliens, glowing orange eyes, a unicorn with pancakes, and a vampire pig named Sneezus. We called it #badfiction.

#badfiction

You can read the rest on Storify here.

Unfortunately, many of the writers who wanted to participate were delayed by last minute things, like traffic and children. We may have another #badfiction night so they can join in the fun. After all, they say madness loves company…

Speaking of insanity, I’m about to begin classes for the University of California at San Diego’s Copyediting Certificate Program. Taking copyediting classes may not be crazy in and of itself, but I have an unfortunate habit of believing I’m superwoman while creating my schedule. I rediscover my humanity at around 10 at night when I still have three more hours of work to do before I can go to bed.

I attempted to keep some clear space in my calendar next month. It went about like this:

Potential client: “I have this fascinating manuscript…”

Me: “Oooh.” *Drools.*

Potential client: “It needs a heavy edit. Maybe even a complete structural rewrite.”

Me: “You mean, 80+ hours of critical thinking and painstaking work, most of which will be unpaid because I’m still learning? Sounds like fun!”

Potential client: “Great! So, can you have it back to me by the end of April?”

Me: “Sure!” *Remembers classes.* “Uh… Actually, can we make that the end of May? April may be a bit nuts.”

So, now I theoretically have some time in April. I’m paying for it by being even more booked in May. Classes are April through June. Superwoman-wannabe Chris is bad at math.

I’m excited about the certificate program, though. I’ve edited a small forest of documents over the last nine years, but I’ve only taken one actual class on editing. This means I’m very good at certain things and completely new to others. Formal training should fill in the gaps in my knowledge. Soon, I will be able to lob phrases like “front matter” and “style sheet” at my self-publishing clients without sneaking glances at my vocabulary cards. And they will be duly befuddled impressed.

At least, that’s the plan.

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